I have played games where someone says they can guess what object I am in 21 questions.
Really? I believe I must question, interrogate, waterboard, and interview myself at least 15 times a day… in that order.
My latest venture is opening a small business. I have asked myself at least a dozen times “Am I manic?” and so has my family. I am forced to over think because the risk of mania is so high with me. I am honest about it, and with rapid cycling it only takes a few stimuli to spark the fuse and light the firecracker. I know I have the knowledge, expertise, and experience to execute my shop at a professional level; however, bipolar scares me. I don’t want to pop like a firecracker and then end up burnt out like a rocket. Self-awareness is crucial to those of us who have bipolar disorder. I often feel hyper vigilant; however, vigilance is needed if I am going to make safe and informed decisions for myself and my family.